blog revival and update to my life

Surprise, surprise and surprise... I had realised it has been quite a few years since I've updated my blog and to my amazement, after attempting to retrieve the account information for more than 30 minutes, the contents are still alive Guess this will have to be a new blog post to update my life, and a new year resolution! Looking back at my last few posts, I realised that at some point in time, I'm quite childish in my thinking, and some of the changes I wanted to made is my life apparently have not changed. So, the first update would be leaving my job back in start of 2010. After finding a job for 2-3 months, I have landed in an insurer firm and have permanently left research/clinical work field; and begin my university studies majoring in banking/finance as well. At some point in time in year 2010, it became too much to cope with so many things and I slowly drifted off tuitioning work as well. I am truely grateful for the students that I have interact with, those that we had work hard together from failing to passing the papers, and those well-behaved students who studied diligently without much nudging from me. And sorry to the students who treat tuition as obligation, resulting in decreasing in results. In one way, I'm glad that I have left this profession;being a teacher, motivating students to study is important and I simply do not have the aptitude towards motivation, perhaps it's not my calling after all. But simply grateful that I have met students who can strive with minimal efforts and whom I can get along well with. Perhaps if I were to tuition again, it will not be motivated by monetary but by passion. Back to new job in insurer, perhaps luck/opportunity/hardwork pays off, I have promoted to executive/management and subsequently transfer to risk assessment within 2 years. but job has been stagnant since, which made my wonder if it is indeed time to look for opportunities elsewhere. well, maybe will elaborate that in my future post again; but it is mainly to be with my weakness which my ex-boss has pointed out last time : tactless and being too nice/honest. In year 2010 as well, I have met a guy which I'm still in a relationship with, 4 years and counting, wow :) Another thing to update is that I have become less religious; at some point in my life, it simply became too much to bear. When liaising with my colleagues and friends, I realised that I have attempted/achieve alot of things which others do not have, and some are: 1. self-supporting (except housing) since 16 years old 2. Paying off poly/uni fees without any bank loan 3. working and studies and achieving both well (studies is average, but at least 100% pass in all tries and obtaining honors - but this studies basically is useless as my boss as said "your salary already exceed fresh grad, what you study is not revelant anyway", so 0% increment...boo - but will try for me still on possible increment) 4. worked as reporter/journalist (passion) 5. published scientific papers 6. despite the expenses on studies (easily 30-40k), still managed to have savings 7. investment in gold and stocks 8. attempting to learn piano and other small insignificant matters As part of new year resolution for this year, the top 3 are: 1. Losing weight (maybe a hopeful 7-9kg this year) 2. Starting passive income/sideline and switch in main income 3. To stop being door mat and be tactful in work and personal life

funny conversation. Difference between God and Satan (church)

Me: (clears throat)
Satan: (looks around, annoyed) What do *YOU* want?
Me: Well, it's about my job
Satan: You want me to do something about your job
Me: Um, yeah
Satan: What have *you* done about it recently - say, yesterday? Read any papers? Applied for anything? Hustled your contacts?
Me: Well, uh
Satan: Fuck off and stop wasting my time. (turns back to what he was doing)

Meeting with Shermaine, Huiling!

Wow, it's been... Poly 1,2,3, work 4,5. 5 years since we meet up!

How fast the time has gone, we have been friends for sec 1,2,3,4, + 5,6,7, 8,9...8-9 years le wor..Can celebrate our tenth year anniversary in no time.

It was fun and enjoyable meeting up together, though geok huay and kaixiang, most unfortunately,cannot make it. We chatted from 6-11pm if I'm not wrong. well, shopping and dining included inside te timings but our main focus is chatting anyway.

I love you guys, do meet up again!


* Cherish every moment you have, before it's gone, because it's fate that we have met *

* It's only a moment of action that separates people from the fate of being passing strangers and being friends*

A Little Pain

Travel to the moon
kimi wa nemuri yume wo toku
dare mo inai hoshi no hikari ayatsurinagara

tsuyoku naru tame wasureta egao
kitto futari nara torimodosu

* kidzuite
I'm here waiting for you
ima to wa chigau mirai ga attemo
I'm here waiting for you
sakebitsudzukete
kitto kokoro wa tsunagu ito wo tagutteru
ano koro no watashi me wo samasu you ni
no need to cry

Travel in silence
te wo nobaseba fureru noni
kimi wa tooi
sore wa omoide no naka no koto

koe ga kikoeru me wo tojireba
chiisana itami sae itoshikute

mitsumete
I'm here waiting for you
kaze ni fukare hitori mayottemo
I'm here waiting for you
sora wo miagete
zutto kokoro wa te wo hirogete mamotteru
ano koro no kimi ga furikaeru made
no need to cry

(Feel something　Feel nothing
Listen closely　Listen closely)
Wide open ears
Disarm the dream tickler
In the constant moment
(You will find me　Where it's quiet
Listen closely　Listen closely)
Let the blood flow
Through all the spaces
Of the universe

* repeat


Travel to the moon
You're sleeping, solving a dream
while the light of the deserted star pulls the [puppet strings]
I forgot to smile in order to be strong
I'm sure that if we're together, I can get it back
Realize that
I'm here waiting for you
Even if the future is different from now
I'm here waiting for you
continuing to shout
Surely my heart is reeling in the string that connects us
No need to cry
in order to wake me up that time
Travel in silence
When I stretch my hand out, I feel you, but
You're far away
It's within my memories
When I close my eyes, I can hear your voice
Even the small ache is dear to me
Look at me
I'm here waiting for you
Even if I'm lost all alone with the wind blowing on me
I'm here waiting for you
My heart is protecting you all the time, my hands spread out
no need to cry
until you former self turns back

Who Am I?

Saw a long forgotten song lyrics @ a friend's blog.

I remember this song touched me greatly last time. And well, it still has an impact on me now.



Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours

What is your true fear?

Saw Yi Run's post and went to do the same quiz with her.. and tata!

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Looked down on   You have a very high self image. You're the kind of person that loves being in the center of attention. You're very outgoing, and outspoken. You also always have to look you're best. Whether going out, or just hanging out with the girls if you're not looking great you're not happy. You're a natural born leader, and love when people look up to you. You're worst fear is that someone won't like you, or look up to you. If someone criticized or critiqued you to the point that people stopped wanting to hang around you, or began thinking less of you that would be your worst nightmare. You secretly really want to be liked, respected and appreciated by others. A good way to make sure that people have a positive view of you is to consider their thoughts and feelings also.
Losing Someone
Where Your life is Going
Being Alone
Commitment
Disappointment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

And you know, it's very very accurate (of course, I'm honest with the answers, and the questions is very direct and straight to the point).

I hated being look down on, and I'm scared of losing someone. Sometimes, it's really ruin my day when people ignored me. (particularly, a colleague often do that to me. told my supervisor about it and she told me that that colleague is "one-of-a-kind" and it is better to not have this type of friend than having one). and I'm really scared of losing someone or lost contact with them (may it be family, friends, student) so to my friends and all~ you are important to my life!! and I always, please keep in touch with me!

The only good and obvious thing is I scored lowest for fearing death. (I think that's a little bullshit. the question ask: me avoiding blood related things.. I handle blood sample one =.=" and if getting near car accident ruins my mood... of course not.. I would curse and swear that driver and tell my friend about it). I think I'm already half dead anyway. No money, no life, no future. =.=" sad life sia.. and now getting more and more sad after typing this phrase "No money, no life, no future".. hai..

Don't type le.. bye..

Singing Kbox @ Hougang Plaza

Now is 15 feb 2009, 12.05am, which is also Valentines' Day minutes before.

I don't know if it's coincidence or planned but I but tuition and meeting with a friend (ahem.. a girl) for a singing session.

and my day starts with tuitioning.
One of the climax of the tuitioning is my cute student who is very thirsty. First, she drank water, then she made the bottle cap drink water, and made the syringe drink water (she use syringe to drink water), and made the tables drink water, and made her books drink water, and finally made me drink some water too. Been clearing up the mess more than the time used for teaching. Well, it's seems that the tuition is very watery. And taught her stuff for about 10-20 mins when the tuitioning is 2 hrs. The rest of the time goes to her playing water and also behaving like a robot while listening to what I taught (this is not included in the 10-20 mins though). So in the end, I'm not sure if she actually understand what I'm saying. So, you know, exams are coming soon and my stress level became higher each day. (T_T)

After that I went to hougang to meet HP. first we went to Suki sushi to buy some food for it to deliver to kbox. And sang quite a few songs to relax. and recorded 2 songs, which, well, are out of tune, pitching sometimes too loud, or sometimes cannot hear what I'm singing, sing wrong verse. Now trying to upload them. So,

to the people who chose to listen, please give some comments if you want, but no laughing thanks

After that went to play arcade, bowling, and the drums one.. well, it's not exactly fun but at least I can hit some stuff... kekeke..

Took bus home and there's an Indian lady with 2 kids who blocked the bus entrance. and she carried alot of stuff (i think there's 5-6 bags, big bags) which she put them on the floor. and there was no one to help her. So I helped her to carry them away. (keke.. ) and I have the intention of helping her to carry all the way back home. but the bus stop she drop does not have my bus. so too bad. I dun wanna take that bus again and change bus to reach home.

and finally reach home, took a bath, and start to chat with HP. and she sent me the 2 recordings. Now I am listening to them. and oh gosh, it's really quite unpleasant to the ear. But I think I will upload it to here. Or should I not? hmmm... If I upload them, it's a little bit 破坏形象... hmmm... (argh.. upload keeps failing..ack)